As I sit here, eating this amazing bowl of Morning O’s cereal, listening to 6lack and just basking in my alone time… One thought keeps running tracks in my mind.
“You’re running out of time.”
There has been a nagging voice in my head for the past month or so that says those exact words in a deep, maniacal way and sometimes it scares me to the core. So much so, that it eventually subdues me and sends me spiraling in to a crazy depressive episode. And y’all know I have those way too often.
I recently had a conversation with a relative, and I believe that that was the root cause for me feeling like this.
I’ve been out of university for about a year now, for reasons way beyond my control. During my time out of school, I went through a lot. But despite that, one of the greatest things happened to me. I figured out what I actually wanted do with my life. Wow. Look at me. Actually looking at the bright side of things. But anyway.
Long story short, I was told that I am wasting my life away by not being in school and getting an education and working alone is not going to carry me anywhere. I was also accused of not working towards any of the goals that I shared with said relative and that I just “talk” and never put things into action.
Side Note: One of my pet peeves is when someone wrongly accuses me of something.
After the conversation, I was left feeling like I am actually wasting my life away, and that one day I’ll wake up at age 30, having accomplished nothing I set out to do. And after a month, I still feel that way.
Then one night, it hit me: Maybe I’m actually not wasting my life away. Maybe I’m not running out of time. Because of the constant imposing of other people’s goals for me, I believe that because I’m not doing the things they want me to do, I would ultimately feel as though I’m running out of time. But what about what I want to do? The goals that I want to achieve? The progress I’m making to achieve those goals?
Only we get to decide how we want our lives to pan out. Of course there are going to be persons like your family members, your significant others, close friends and even your teachers that are going to attempt to “advise” you on what you should/could be doing… But at the end of the day, only you get to decide what you want to do with YOUR life.
Also, one last thing. There may be so many people your age, achieving great things, making money and all that. Never compare yourself to these people. Life is not a race. Everyone’s life is going to be different; this doesn’t mean you’re not going to achieve anything great in yours.
So this week, let’s make a list of things that we want to accomplish, both long-term and short-term. And let’s work towards those goals with confidence, avoiding all the outside elements that may try to discourage us. I’m rooting for you.