(*after literally spending 90 centuries trying to figure out how to start this*)
Hey everyone! Welcome to Finding Satori, a blog I started to help keep me completely sane! …Just kidding guys, let’s try this again.
Hey everyone, and welcome to the first blog post of my blog ‘Finding Satori’. I wanna thank you *winks* firstly for even clicking on this link and giving Ol’ Antoria a little attention. I appreciate it as much as I appreciate Britney Spears for blessing us with her music back then. Not her weird music videos, her music. Let’s make that very clear.
One morning, with my morning breath still intact, a light bulb popped in my head and I thought, “I wanna create a blog.” I was really excited so I booted up my mom’s laptop and told one of my close friends the news… right before researching the complexities of creating blogs and the amount of time it takes. Ugh. That means I have to do stuff. But my excitement waaaay overpowered my stubborn laziness and I decided that I was gonna do this for realsies. Fo’ shizzles.
‘Finding Satori’ was the name I chose for my blog for two reasons: 1. I truthfully want to use this medium to inspire not only myself but my future readers to reach that point of “sudden enlightenment/realization” of their true potential and worth (hence the word ‘Satori” taken from Buddhist culture) and 2. My nickname is Tori and it kinda ties in with that (and it’s really cute).
I have four (4) reasons for starting this blog and basically these are going to help me stay focused on this thing so let’s jump right into it:
- To inspire others and myself (I rel need inspiration): Disclaimer: I am in NO way a psychiatrist. I’m not some experienced life coach who sits in her office, listening to CD tracks of waves crashing against the jagged rocks on a beach while chewing on baby carrots and who seems to have her life together. No. I’m just as messed up as you are. We’re all in this together! *cue HSM dance crew* In July, I was diagnosed with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) and let me tell you, it wasn’t so peachy to hear that. Since then, I’ve been fighting my way to break free of these mental chains that’s sole duty is to make sure that I don’t accomplish any of the goals that I’ve set out for myself. But in doing so, I felt the inward need to help others as well. And that’s how Finding Satori was born. I’m here to help you guys. Honestly.
- To open up and express myself: Back in my teen years (I turned 20 twenty-three days ago but doh study that), I used to write poetry to release all the pent-up teen angst I felt (regarding boys, school, boys, family, boys etc.). And it felt euphoric. But, (yeah, there’s always a but) I conditioned my mind to believe I was a horrible writer and that I wasn’t cut out for this and eventually I stopped. For 5 years. Whenever I picked up a pencil to write, my mind literally went blank, and of course the page followed suit. However, this year, I was encouraged by some great scallywags of mine to resume writing (they held me at gun point guys, please help m-) and after continuously trying to break down my wall of stubbornness, I held up my white flag and I agreed. So yeah. GET READY FOR A WATERFALL OF FEELS IN MY POETRY LOVES!
- To prepare myself to do an entire English Literature/Linguistics degree: I started university in 2016, pursuing a degree in Agribusiness with Entrepreneurship (yeah, I know, like what the heck is that even?) I found out like three weeks after the semester started that I was accepted to do a BA in Literatures in English. At that time, I wasn’t so fascinated to do Lit because of the things people told me about the course (pro-tip: DON’T LISTEN TO PEOPLE.) Ahem anyway. So, after some soul-searching and having an enlightening conversation with my former Eng Lit teacher (shout out to you mayne!), I decided that I was gonna drop Agri-whatever altogether and transfer to an English Literature and Linguistics degree, to afterwards become a teacher! I want to be that one teacher who not only teaches kids, but also inspires them. I’ll talk more on that another time.
- To become more confident: Yeah so, I’m not really that confident. I mean, I’m Michelle-Williams-From-Destiny’s-Child confident (which isn’t really confidence but just flat out embarrassing yourself) but I’m definitely NOT Beyonce-Stepping-Out-Of-Her-House-In-A-Garbage-Bag-And-Still-Looking-Hot confident. But I’m working on it *takes a break to eat a huge fried chicken leg and down it with a large coke*. I’ve always had self-esteem issues and it has prevented me from stepping out of my comfort zone SO MANY TIMES; I think we can all relate. So, this blog is literally me, taking a quantum leap, out of my snuggly but detrimental comfort zone, to socialize, to connect with you guys. Of course, the connecting is gonna be on a small scale at first but that’s all good. That’s what stepping out of your comfort zone is all about.