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To The One Who's Always There For Others…


I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately.

Within the past few weeks, I’ve been going through a lot of strange motions; most of them not even I myself could explain. And the burden of not being able to understand the shit you’re going through is a living nightmare.

However, despite these strange and cumbersome series of events, I’ve still tried my very best to be there for my close friends or for anyone in general, in their time of need. Because, honestly, I’ve always been that girl. I’ve always been that friend; the friend that puts you first regardless. It’s like this character trait that was embedded in my soul since the day of my conception perhaps and I’ve never been able to deviate from that, no matter how hard I’d try.

No matter how many times I’ve told myself “This month is all about me!” or “I’m putting myself first!”, within the first few days, I’d be in my friend’s DMs helping them with whatever issue they’re facing, providing all of my time and effort to assure them that they’re not alone and that with support, they’ll be able to overcome these issues.

I’m writing this post to tell you that I think I’ve driven myself to the point of complete and utter mental and physical exhaustion.

My life is a shit show right now; shit keeps piling up and I keep repressing all of it. For what reason? Because I haven’t been putting myself as a top priority.

My insomnia has been at an all-time BAD. I’ve had 2 panic attacks for the week already. I’ve lost all passion for blogging. I’ve been crying a lot. I’m just gradually deteriorating and I have no idea what to do.

I haven’t been taking care of myself and I’m paying for it now.

Even as I’m writing this post, I can’t help but cry because this is possibly the first time I’m actually getting all my feelings out. And even now, I’m still repressing.

And all of this has been going through my mind for weeks.

Now I can probably guess you’re wondering “Antoria, what’s even the point of this post?”

I’ll sum it up in 4 words: Take care of yourself.

You are your greatest investment. You have to make sure everything is right with you first and foremost. And of course it’s going to be weird hearing that from me as I literally just went into detail about how I’ve been doing everything but. I’m learning, cut me some slack.

I recently saw a tweet being circulated where someone’s friend suffered a stroke due to intense levels of stress and anxiety. Mental and physical health are so intertwined and we fail to see that. However, mental health is always deemed as less important until it’s too late.

Let’s take care of ourselves. Before we take care of others.

16 thoughts on “To The One Who's Always There For Others…

  1. Thank you for sharing this, honestly self care is so important! What are some of your tips for dealing with stress and anxiety?

    1. Thank you for reading. I have a few posts on my blog that speak on tops for dealing stress and anxiety but some main ones I’d recommend are 1. Developing the use of positive affirmations 2. Journaling your moods, activities, feelings etc. 3. Exercise (preferably yoga) 4. Taking a break and recuperating.

  2. Very true! Im sorry youve been feeling exhausted! I know how it feels to put others first. I deal with it all the time because the person i put before myself is a famoly member!
    But even if its a family member, you havento set boundaries.
    You cant be happy or help others if your not helping yourself.
    I hope you can find time to show yourself that much needed alone time. ❤🧚🏽‍♀️

  3. Thanks for sharing. This is an important post for everyone. If a person doesn’t take care of themselves then how can they help anyone else. I think we have been brought up thinking it is selfish to put one’s own needs first and maybe it is – to an extent – but we need to replenish ourselves, spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally. I hope through the coming days and weeks you are able to step back and do just that! Take care!

  4. This post makes me sad. I hope you have strong friendships who can help you out. As a blogger I understand the pressure to keep posting so maybe have a break from blogging for a few weeks if it makes your mental health better.

    1. I’ve been thinking of taking a break but I’m not too sure just yet. Thank you for reading though and I appreciate your thoughtfulness. ❤️

  5. Bless your heart!♥️
    Life throws curves and we can only keep going forward even in baby steps. The anxiety attacks are the worst. I’m so sorry you are having a rough period. You are doing a great job by sharing and I hope you keep finding things to bring you joy and happiness. Take some short walks outside to get the fresh air and hear birds sing while you get your exercise.
    Sending you love!!
    xoxo
    Michelle https://imayogagirl.com

    1. You’re right. Extremely right. Thank you for commenting 🙂 You should put yourself first though… I think you need that.

  6. I just found your blog and am nodding away as I read your posts. Five years ago I hit rock-bottom and almost separated from my husband because of his severe mental health condition. I couldn’t help him. I couldn’t make him see how much it affected me. I was home alone with a newborn baby and toddler, and if it weren’t for my network of local friends, I probably would have ended up in hospital with a nervous breakdown. But we battled through, and I realised that I needed time for myself. Now I practice reiki and make time to relax and heal when I need to (like this weekend). As you said, we only have ourselves. We must look after ourselves, before we can look after other people. Lots of love to you and everyone in similar situations at this time xxx

    https://spookymrsgreen.com/2018/12/05/living-with-chronic-pain-how-reiki-saved-my-sanity/

    1. Thank you so much for reading! And I’m so happy to hear that you were able to overcome that situation 🌻❤️ Sending love to you and yours ❤️❤️❤️

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