If there were one specific word that could describe my overall mood 24/7, it would be tired. In every aspect of my life; be it physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally, I am exceedingly tired. I feel drained all the time and it has become really hard to exert any form of energy into anything that I do in my daily life.
Going to work is a bummer; I literally dismiss all my alarms in the morning (and yo, I have five alarms and each of them have very abusive alarm titles attached but of course, that doesn’t faze me). I have been nonchalantly walking into work incredibly late with drool still on my face from the useless 4 hour sleep I had, with my hair being a
good perfect reflection of how messy my life is.
I honestly can’t remember the last time I prayed. It makes me feel bad because I know that despite the amount of negatively impacting things that linger around in my life, I still have a lot of things to be grateful for. But there are sometimes where I feel very alone and I feel like not even a prayer could really snatch me out of that feeling. So I reluctantly refrain from doing so, until it becomes a habit and well that’s why I’m in this mess now.
I’m an overthinker.
And I’d like to believe that I’m the worst kind. Somehow when something starts bugging me, my mind tends to drop all focus on all other things and just focuses on that one thing.
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!
Not only does my mind do that, but it also somehow branches off into my past traumatic experiences (that could either have something or absolutely nothing to do with the original thought) and it just turns into a never-ending dark spiral from there.
But I’m trying my best to change things.
I’ve been working out every day (okay, minus last week Friday, Saturday and Sunday because I was really over it at that point). But I’m back on track. I’m drastically trying to work on my energy and endurance levels because those tend to be my weakest(est) points.
I do intend on praying more. And meditating. To calm my wild, anxious spirit. I want to learn to be at peace, although chaos is roaming about and seeking attention like a 20 year old gal who has daddy issues (yikes). I just need to find solid ground again. And I think meditation and praying would do just the trick.
And okay okay, I promise I won’t dismiss my alarms anymore. And I’ll try my best to be a good noodle and get to work on time.
I’m really trying here.
I just hope that it won’t all be in vain.
Tell me the ways that you’re trying to get back on track for this new month. It could be as small as drinking 8 glasses/bottles of water a day to running 1 mile a day. I love hearing from you guys; your comments make me smile the kind of smile that forms wrinkles under your eyes lol.