This past week, I’ve been really down. I haven’t been as productive as I wanted to be and I’ve been feeling great bouts of discouragement ever so often. Just last night, I had this crazy anxiety attack where I felt like a gigantic monster decided to stomp its entire weight on my chest and I couldn’t breathe, no matter how hard I tried to. My head was pounding in places I never thought it could pound and all I could do was stare blankly at my ceiling while tears involuntarily poured their way out of my eyes.
The weight of my stress crashed down on me last night and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I was left vulnerable under its attack and I felt defeated. I have a really hard time letting go of the past and yesterday my past decided to show me just how much power it has over me.
There are things that happened to me when I was only a child that I could just never seem to forget. I would give myself the benefit of the doubt and tell myself that I’m over it and that I’m fine and I can finally move on. It’s also during that time when my anxiety decides to show up for tea.
I had a completely different topic to talk about on my blog today… But here I am, vigorously typing on my laptop, typing these words at the very top of my head. For what reason? I have no idea.
I want to be as real and as raw with my readers as possible.
Anxiety is the real deal. It’s NOT a joke.
I want to bring more awareness to this… Because there are people like my family, and some of my friends, and people I work with… Who think it’s not serious and that it’s a joke. IT IS NOT.
I hope everyone has a great week. I am not allowing my anxiety to stop me from posting on my blog. I took a lengthy hiatus from my blog already and I regret it wholeheartedly.
If you’re suffering from anxiety, please reach out. Don’t suffer alone like I do sometimes. You’re not weak if you decide to ask for help. Love you guys. Stay safe.
*Featured image is from none other than the talented Elliana Esquivel. You can check more of her work by following her on IG at elesq.*